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My Take on Giving Freedom to Kids

“Children should have enough freedom to be themselves-once they have learned the rules”

quotes Anna Quindlen (an American author).

The question here arises is that do we as parents follow this? Many would say a ‘YES’. But personally speaking its 50% of the ‘YES’. Why so????  Have we ever pondered on this question?  Not deeply.  Yes, but we often compare our childhood with that of our kids. I too am a parent and many a times I tend to compare the situation when I see my growing toddler.

What is freedom?? The answer for this will vary for different age groups.

  • For a child – having ample play time
  • Teenager- having ample friends time
  • Youth- having ample party time
  • An adult- it’s me time and so on……

Do we give this freedom to our kids without setting any boundaries? Do we give the freedom asked without the list of rules and regulations. No we don’t.

Many may or may not agree with me. But we are at fault when we bind our kids with strict disciplinary measures. It’s when you curb the freedom demanded children tend to break the norms set and follow their heart. It’s then that we take strict actions without understanding the reason behind it.

Our childhood was way different than our children . We had lots of play time – playing games like lock n key; kho-kho ; kubaddi; hide n seek; etc… Did we not do well academically? Getting the top rank  always was not the criteria. I don’t remember my parents ever nagging me or my siblings for marks. We were always given a positive motivating reaction. The result was that we kids worked hard on our own and passed out with flying colours. It was our own strive. Was there ‘NO COMPETITION’ then??? get link IT WAS. But our parents did not let us feel the pressure .  unfortunately today parents give pressure to kids. The world is becoming a competitive one so to occupy a seat here children should be capable of taking pressure and no problem if their cytotec online cheap FREEDOM IS AT STAKE.

Khevaansh in the park

What a life are we giving to our kids?

Changing with changing times is important but how you change & whether your change is having a positive impact on your surroundings is equally important.  For this parents should have a proper communication system with their kids. Tell them about the changing times; show them how much you trust them but don’t impose your fears and thoughts or for that matter your desires.

Today’s kids have a set time-table to follow , not only in schools but at home too. Once they come back from school they have a time schedule for tv; ipads; play time because they have to go for their classes- swimming/ drawing/ judo/ tennis etc… our child should be an epitome of perfection. Are we so???

Having a rhythm in life is good but a routine with no free time to be in ourself is not a good idea.

Are we giving the freedom to kids to choose an activity of their choice or prioritise the ones they like and we wish too. For that matter, don’t you think kids need that free time to be all by themselves. The outcome is ‘Jack of all traits and master of none’. If we are working parents & feel taxed that we have a list of duties ready when we step home and do not get our own space or me time, imagine how a child’s mind must be getting taxed.

Freedom is something which allows kids to take their own responsibilities.

The art of discipline should be developed from within.

Set boundaries but in a way that kids learn from them. Motivation, communication, trust all play an important role. Give gadgets to your kids and make them understand the pros and cons of its over use. Let the child decide for himself/ herself. ( remember: you cannot use it as a tool. When you give a time limit follow it. But when you have work and you don’t want ur chid to disturb you, you give the gadget then the child loses the significance of the lesson taught and freedom is taken for granted). (Gadget is just an example – I am no gadget mommy BTW)

Allow your growing teens to mingle with their friends but keep a tab on their group. Don’t be so complacent in expressing yourself modern that you feel you don’t need to divulge into your child’s life as you represent a modern time mom. That’s not modernism. Such behaviour gives rise to incidents of kids murdering; committing suicide or molestation; cyber abuse and so on….

Be a Role model

When you are out of the house call up your child/children and inform that you have reached the venue safely. Share few details. In return inculcate the same habit in your child. This way the child will not feel that you are keeping a check on his/her whereabouts and your worry is also sorted. It’s a two way communication.

Similarly discuss your friends with your child rather than asking them about their friends. Children tend to speak on their own. This type of freedom of expression will eventually build the power of thinking and understanding the right & wrong; good or bad.

Keep some family time together to play or dine together or holiday. Remember the idea here is not to give time to kids but to give quality time. Keep your gadgets away and spend time talking ; playing ; swimming with kids. When children see their parents making them feel important they learn to reciprocate. But in today’s time we take our kids for a holiday with their gadgets as we need our space too. So we then can’t complain if our kids want their own space and own freedom and ask us to allow them to live their life the way they wish too. They want freedom.

We need to remember

buy prednisone mastercard “It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings”.

 


This blog post is a part of #LetsDiscussFreedom Blogathon. I would like to thank Veena from thereadingmomster  for introducing me. I would now like to introduce Alpana from mothersgurukul and suggest you to read her views on the prompt, ‘What Does  Freedom Mean To You’.

 

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My Philosophy of Freedom – What freedom Means to me?

Freedom is such a broad term. Each being on earth has its own kind of freedom.

I never thought of freedom as a term in itself apart from having freedom of choice. But while I was collecting thoughts on writing this post, I realised how freedom had different meaning over the years.

As a child, freedom was all about self rule. I wanted to have my own rules for play time, eating, studying.

As a teenager freedom was all about having my choice. Hanging out with friends without permission, wearing clothes of my choice, making friends of my choice – my mom use to hold me back from making friends with some people 😬

At 20 I had chosen a life partner and I wanted the freedom to hang out with him, marry him. I wanted freedom to work and be self independent. Freedom was about independence then. 💁🏼

Years passed by like this and now I Realise freedom is all about being responsible and taking the responsibility of what you choose.
To me freedom now and even in the past was having my own choice and be responsible for the same.

When one has freedom – He/she takes responsibility and learns in the process.

As a child when my mom asked me to travel alone ti school or nani house –  I got the freedom to travel and in the process I learnt to travel independently.

At 20, When I chose the guy to get married, I knew in future whatever good/ bad happens will be because I chose him. thankfully my days are good. 😂

As a mother, freedom is all about being urself and following ur mommy gut feeling. I recommend to all the new moms, please follow your instincts thats the best teacher and give you the much needed freedom from the world advises. (let me tell you there are 569383). 😴 So when I follow my own thoughts/gut/instincts I am responsible for whatever good/bad happens. Motherhood has taught me a lot in the process.

As a whole being myself, freedom is not having the necessity to rebel 🙅 over anything. Freedom is all about having a rhythm in life and absolutely be in love with it – I am struggling hard to get in to a rhythm.

What are your thoughts on freedom?


This blog post is a part of #LetsDiscussFreedom Blogathon. I would like to thank Veena from thereadingmomster  for introducing me. I would now like to introduce Alpana from mothersgurukul and suggest you to read her views on the prompt, ‘What Does  Freedom Mean To You’.

 

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COMFORT OR COURAGE – what to choose when travelling with a baby?

I am a social being. I would go mad if I had not meet people. To keep my urge of socialising going, I meet people and travel to places with friends and family.

We all know parenting dramatically changes our life. However, we need to keep it going and   so we planned to travel with our boy this vacation and noticed how the plans kept changing, keeping him in mind.

Planning a travel is so much fun. We had our vacation planned up quite well. I had gathered a lot of courage and planned an 8/10 hours of road trip to Gujarat. The couple who were accompanying us came with one other exciting travel plan.

The new plan was to travel to one of the cold places in the North. This excited me as I have never witnessed mountains with snow or for that matter even a snow fall. I wanted to go but I was constantly thinking if I will be able to do a comfortable vacation with my boy to such a place.

I asked several friends and took their view points. Most of them asked me to go ahead with the plan. Some asked me to think over the travelling time and cold temperature there. This left me thinking.  After considering suggestions of my friends and a final discussion with my husband we finally gave up. I didn’t have the courage to travel with my 1 year old to a place so cold and neither I wanted to travel with him in the ghats.

We chose comfort over courage this time and didn’t go ahead with the plan. But thankfully we worked out something and are travelling to Udaipur now.

Why I chose to go to Udaipur?
  • It is a plateau. So, travelling will be easier as compared to the mountains.
  • the climate of the place when I visit will be quite pleasant, so that’s an advantage.
  • It’s quite close to Mumbai, so travelling time won’t be much.
  • Travelling is never done free. Some good offers attracted us to visit the city.

 

So at the end, you can choose either courage or comfort when travelling with a baby.

You may also like to read Road trip with babies : Tips and Tricks

I am taking part in The Write Tribe Problogger October 2017 Blogging Challenge.

#writebravely

#writtribrproblogger

 

 

 

 

 

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My fitness Journey – As a mom and otherwise

Most moms worry about getting fit and losing weight postpartum. I share my story of fitness here to help you girls.

2003 – 2007 : I have always been a chubby girl. I was always called moti (fat) by my friends in my school days. once I joined college, I knew I must do something but since I am a foodie dieting wasn’t my cup of tea plus I never even thought of it. inspite of this, I still got thin. Now you may imagine How? How? How?

I come from a middle-class family where we were taught to value each penny. My parents never gave me extra money except pocket money. During college days one wants to join friends for movies and a lot of bowling and stuff. I never got money for all such stuff. Whatever little pocket money I got was for me to travel from home to college and classes plus to eat throughout the day.

How do I hang out with my friends when bunking was so much fun? So, what I did was didn’t eat any food or just ate one samosa from a shop which was a friend and my favourite. I ate only when I couldn’t manage my hunger. Thanks to starving I lost a lot of weight.  My tummy was flat but I lost all the glow and looked pathetic. I was still happy because I never looked so thin. Thanks to college, classes and lack of money I maintained this weight for good 3 years. I worked on my glow and looked good in the third year which was my first year of degree college.

2008 : I had grown up. There was a lot of guy looking around, crushes and all such madness. This brought me to my guy for life my husband. There was a lot of outings and eating out, pampering and chocolates and stuff.  Despite gyming I put on all the lost weight. I finished my college and went for a professional teacher course B.Ed I gained maximum at this year. Thanks to long lectures and over stuffing of food. In all this time, I was fighting to lose weight but never lost any.

2009 : I was teaching in a renowned school and everyone at home wanted me to get married but I didn’t want to, only coz I looked fat. I’m sure many of you might have felt so. And so, I had to tell my mum wait for some months. I went to this dietician called Tripti Gupta. And damn she helped me lose all the extra weight and I was all fit, lean before my wedding day. I owe it to her. My in laws never saw me fat and never believed I was fat.

2010 – 2015: After marriage most couples gain weight, but thankfully both of us maintained and remained lean. Damn! over the years I gained weight. At 4 years of my marriage I was back again to my motapa (fatness). By the way major weight gain was thanks to a colleague friend who was supposed to get married. She made me eat all the samosas saying I’m going, when will u eat with me again and stuff. Let me again tell you I was in constant struggle of losing weight over these years too and sometimes I lost sometimes I gained.

Then I had to conceive so I lost all the interest as my major focus was conception. Now after delivery I am back again to my fitness obsession.

2016 – 2017: On my delivery bed, I was 86. When my baby was 9 month old I was 70. I had lost around 16 kgs of weight, which was quite good in 7 months.  Postpartum I knew I had to get back to the lean me. I started working on it when my baby was 50 days old. Clean eating was happening even before post that I started yoga to gain strength. I continued yoga till my baby was 6 months and now I follow my youtube gurus.

Now after a year post delivery, I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight which is 66 kgs but yes I still have a lot to loose. Not to forget my target is not only weight, I am writing down weights here because thats something measurable and can be seen but I have gained a lot of strength. My body is tighter to the body before pregnancy thanks to exercising,

Read my article on things to keep in mind (these helped me) to get fit here.

Adding some pictures here for you all to compare.

wedding time

wedding Time

some years post wedding
50 days pp
1 year post delivery

 

Let us know about your fitness journey in the comments below.