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My Take on Giving Freedom to Kids

“Children should have enough freedom to be themselves-once they have learned the rules”

quotes Anna Quindlen (an American author).

The question here arises is that do we as parents follow this? Many would say a ‘YES’. But personally speaking its 50% of the ‘YES’. Why so????  Have we ever pondered on this question?  Not deeply.  Yes, but we often compare our childhood with that of our kids. I too am a parent and many a times I tend to compare the situation when I see my growing toddler.

What is freedom?? The answer for this will vary for different age groups.

  • For a child – having ample play time
  • Teenager- having ample friends time
  • Youth- having ample party time
  • An adult- it’s me time and so on……

Do we give this freedom to our kids without setting any boundaries? Do we give the freedom asked without the list of rules and regulations. No we don’t.

Many may or may not agree with me. But we are at fault when we bind our kids with strict disciplinary measures. It’s when you curb the freedom demanded children tend to break the norms set and follow their heart. It’s then that we take strict actions without understanding the reason behind it.

Our childhood was way different than our children . We had lots of play time – playing games like lock n key; kho-kho ; kubaddi; hide n seek; etc… Did we not do well academically? Getting the top rank  always was not the criteria. I don’t remember my parents ever nagging me or my siblings for marks. We were always given a positive motivating reaction. The result was that we kids worked hard on our own and passed out with flying colours. It was our own strive. Was there ‘NO COMPETITION’ then??? orlistat 120 mg cheap online canadian pharmacy IT WAS. But our parents did not let us feel the pressure .  unfortunately today parents give pressure to kids. The world is becoming a competitive one so to occupy a seat here children should be capable of taking pressure and no problem if their click here FREEDOM IS AT STAKE.

Khevaansh in the park

What a life are we giving to our kids?

Changing with changing times is important but how you change & whether your change is having a positive impact on your surroundings is equally important.  For this parents should have a proper communication system with their kids. Tell them about the changing times; show them how much you trust them but don’t impose your fears and thoughts or for that matter your desires.

Today’s kids have a set time-table to follow , not only in schools but at home too. Once they come back from school they have a time schedule for tv; ipads; play time because they have to go for their classes- swimming/ drawing/ judo/ tennis etc… our child should be an epitome of perfection. Are we so???

Having a rhythm in life is good but a routine with no free time to be in ourself is not a good idea.

Are we giving the freedom to kids to choose an activity of their choice or prioritise the ones they like and we wish too. For that matter, don’t you think kids need that free time to be all by themselves. The outcome is ‘Jack of all traits and master of none’. If we are working parents & feel taxed that we have a list of duties ready when we step home and do not get our own space or me time, imagine how a child’s mind must be getting taxed.

Freedom is something which allows kids to take their own responsibilities.

The art of discipline should be developed from within.

Set boundaries but in a way that kids learn from them. Motivation, communication, trust all play an important role. Give gadgets to your kids and make them understand the pros and cons of its over use. Let the child decide for himself/ herself. ( remember: you cannot use it as a tool. When you give a time limit follow it. But when you have work and you don’t want ur chid to disturb you, you give the gadget then the child loses the significance of the lesson taught and freedom is taken for granted). (Gadget is just an example – I am no gadget mommy BTW)

Allow your growing teens to mingle with their friends but keep a tab on their group. Don’t be so complacent in expressing yourself modern that you feel you don’t need to divulge into your child’s life as you represent a modern time mom. That’s not modernism. Such behaviour gives rise to incidents of kids murdering; committing suicide or molestation; cyber abuse and so on….

Be a Role model

When you are out of the house call up your child/children and inform that you have reached the venue safely. Share few details. In return inculcate the same habit in your child. This way the child will not feel that you are keeping a check on his/her whereabouts and your worry is also sorted. It’s a two way communication.

Similarly discuss your friends with your child rather than asking them about their friends. Children tend to speak on their own. This type of freedom of expression will eventually build the power of thinking and understanding the right & wrong; good or bad.

Keep some family time together to play or dine together or holiday. Remember the idea here is not to give time to kids but to give quality time. Keep your gadgets away and spend time talking ; playing ; swimming with kids. When children see their parents making them feel important they learn to reciprocate. But in today’s time we take our kids for a holiday with their gadgets as we need our space too. So we then can’t complain if our kids want their own space and own freedom and ask us to allow them to live their life the way they wish too. They want freedom.

We need to remember

http://workngsd.com/wp-json/oembed/1.0/embed?url=http://workngsd.com/other-services “It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings”.

 


This blog post is a part of #LetsDiscussFreedom Blogathon. I would like to thank Veena from thereadingmomster  for introducing me. I would now like to introduce Alpana from mothersgurukul and suggest you to read her views on the prompt, ‘What Does  Freedom Mean To You’.

 

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My Mom Was Right

Since ages, we have been hearing maa hamesha Sahi hoti hai (mom is always right). As a child I grew up hearing this sentence and always thought what crap. But as time passed by I only realised how right she was when she said things.

One patent dialogue by my mom is unforgettable “ Shadi hogi tab pata chalega.” (You will realise when you get married).

I always argued I have always got the best in life and sasural (in laws) is going to be no different. Thankfully, I have the best sasural but that dialogue is still in my mind. Yes, I realise now how a home maker feels. There were times my mom cooked food and we simply said we don’t want to eat because the cooked food was not our taste or we ate out and forgot to inform mom. (By we I mean my brother and me). Now I understand how it feels when my husband or any other family member does that.

Her second favourite dialogue was “Bache bade karna aassan nai.” ( Its not easy to bring up children).

This is like a fact I agree to 6778890% . Yes, motherhood is beautiful but it’s not easy. I realise now how bad my mom might have felt when I argued with her in situations where she was right or disrespected her. I realise it thinking how would I feel if my son would do this to me. Each day of bringing up a child is totally different and in itself a new experience.

You may also like to read Breastfeeding – How to get it right? 

The lesson learnt is no matter what you feel & whatever is your age ; never take your mother for granted & never ever ignore their favourite dialogues coz they come out to be true (LOL) .After all experience counts.

“Wisdom lies in the right use of knowledge” quotes – Charles Spurgeon

This post is a part of a blog train organised by Elina Wadia where 20 Indian moms have some together to write on how their own mothers were right! To read her article on the same topic click here.

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Winter Special – Toddler’s Tea

This blog is a part of the Chai-a-thon blog train organized by ‘The Momsteins’

I would like to thank Mamatha  from  all about mommying for introducing me.

Chai Chai!! Chai Chai!!

This is the way Mr.K murmurs when he sees the chai (tea) water boiling up. The entire family loves tea and can’t do without tea. This excitement for tea is passed to my toddler too 🙈.

Though I am not against tea in anyway but I’m against the sugar in the tea. But this guy wants to dip his ragi/bajri rotis in the tea and have it for breakfast. Blame daddy who made him taste sugar tea.

So to do away with this I came up with an idea and make masala chai for him. Which is absolutely healthy and good for these winters.

Recipe for Toddler’s Tea/Masala Chai

Ingredients:

3/4 Tulsi leaves
3/4 Mint leaves
1/2 strands Lemongrass
Quarter spoon of grated Ginger
1 Clove (lavang)
1 pod cardomom (elaichi)
1 small Bay leaf (tej)
2 spoons of Date paste
Half cup Soy milk/almond milk

Method:

Mix all the ingredients with water and boil it until the water becomes half.

Add milk and boil it until the milk comes up .

And tadda the chai is ready. The colour of the tea is just like normal tea and K loves it.

Even adults can have this tea. It keeps away cold, cough and increases immunity.

I would also recommend you to check out my fellow blogger, and friend preetjyot’s blog  My little Muffin and read about her wonderful ‘ tea memory ‘.

 

 

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COMFORT OR COURAGE – what to choose when travelling with a baby?

I am a social being. I would go mad if I had not meet people. To keep my urge of socialising going, I meet people and travel to places with friends and family.

We all know parenting dramatically changes our life. However, we need to keep it going and   so we planned to travel with our boy this vacation and noticed how the plans kept changing, keeping him in mind.

Planning a travel is so much fun. We had our vacation planned up quite well. I had gathered a lot of courage and planned an 8/10 hours of road trip to Gujarat. The couple who were accompanying us came with one other exciting travel plan.

The new plan was to travel to one of the cold places in the North. This excited me as I have never witnessed mountains with snow or for that matter even a snow fall. I wanted to go but I was constantly thinking if I will be able to do a comfortable vacation with my boy to such a place.

I asked several friends and took their view points. Most of them asked me to go ahead with the plan. Some asked me to think over the travelling time and cold temperature there. This left me thinking.  After considering suggestions of my friends and a final discussion with my husband we finally gave up. I didn’t have the courage to travel with my 1 year old to a place so cold and neither I wanted to travel with him in the ghats.

We chose comfort over courage this time and didn’t go ahead with the plan. But thankfully we worked out something and are travelling to Udaipur now.

Why I chose to go to Udaipur?
  • It is a plateau. So, travelling will be easier as compared to the mountains.
  • the climate of the place when I visit will be quite pleasant, so that’s an advantage.
  • It’s quite close to Mumbai, so travelling time won’t be much.
  • Travelling is never done free. Some good offers attracted us to visit the city.

 

So at the end, you can choose either courage or comfort when travelling with a baby.

You may also like to read Road trip with babies : Tips and Tricks

I am taking part in The Write Tribe Problogger October 2017 Blogging Challenge.

#writebravely

#writtribrproblogger

 

 

 

 

 

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Socialising after becoming a Parent

If you read my post regularly you might know that I had a beautiful pregnancy. I worked, partied  ( the decent way) till the end of my pregnancy. In fact even four days before delivery I was out socialising with people.

Once,I gave birth to my little boy, I was enjoying my motherhood eternally. I loved changing diapers and nappies every hour. Breast feeding was in itself a beautiful experience.

Few days passed by, our friends started calling my husband and me to join them for dinners and outings. But, we were not prepared, we were not sure to leave our baby home with my mother in law. Although I was sure that she would take care of him just the way she did for her sons and daughter.

We kept denying and saying no to our friends, but somewhere even I was craving to go and meet people. What made me worried was, is motherhood an end to our personal life? Is it the terminal to my social life? But I gave back an answer to myself, I am not going to allow this to happen. I don’t want motherhood to effect my social life.

Soon, we managed things and started meeting people outside. Although we never said a yes to people saying we would join, but always kept the decision to last minute.

So how did we manage?
  1. We left home once, K slept for the night.
  2. I pumped some milk and kept it in the bottle, so that my mil could feed him in my absence in case he wakes up.
  3. We would keep the meetings short.
  4. We always met friends at a place close to our house.
  5. Once my baby completed 4 months of age, I started taking him along with me wherever I could.
  6. I preferred meetings my friends at someone’s place for the comfort of the baby.
  7. Baby carriers was a huge help to me while I shopped in malls.

How did you socialise after having a baby?

You may also like to read A Mom’s NostalgiaMy experience of attending a wedding with an infant.

I am taking part in The Write Tribe Problogger October 2017 Blogging Challenge.

#writebravely

#writtribrproblogger

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My Lullaby to Sleep Train My Baby

The most common question moms would get postpartum is does ur baby sleep in the night? Does he cry?

Thankfully, I had a YES in my answer for the first question. Its a bliss when your baby sleeps well in the night.

Sleep training is of utmost importance as this helps a mom from postparutm depression and a well slept baby is a happy baby. The question is how will you do this?

Remember, that for first two – three months of life a babies sleep is different to ours. they dont understand the difference between day and night. For the first forty days of Ks life, I didn’t bother much. I slept when he slept whether it was day or night.

You may also like to read Benefits of Co-Sleeping.

Between 5 and 6 months we had formed a good pattern. I kept trying different things to form a pattern and here I list down the things that worked for me.
I started following these when quite early but religiously when he was 3 months old.

Wake Up:

We had a fixed wake up time at 8:30 am. even if he woke up for a feed at 7:45, I would wake him up between 8:30 and 8:45 am. This helped me schedule my day.

Evening Naps:

I avoided his evening naps as far as possible, if I allowed him to take a nap, I would try to keep it short and actually woke him up in half an hour max.

I would avoid diapers in the evening naps only to see him wake up with wet nappies.

Bed time Routine:

We had a set pattern for his night sleep. I would give him a wash, followed by cream massage, play some soft music at the background and feed to sleep.

I followed the night routine everyday without fail and in a month or so, he slept at the same time everyday only to wake up in the morning. Though he did wake up for his feeds. We also kept the lights dim, so that he knows its time to sleep now.

Pattern of the day:

I tried to keep a set pattern for his day. Wake up, play, feed, sleep and repeat.

There were days he wouldn’t sleep in the afternoon, but the baby carrier came to my rescue. I use to take him in the carrier and take some rounds in the house and tadaa maximum 10 mins is what it took for him to sleep.

So basically, I would like to say is there are different ways; keep trying different modes to achieve your best. Let me know in the comments below if any of the above works for you.

Also tell me, How did you sleep train your baby?

I am taking part in The Write Tribe Problogger October 2017 Blogging Challenge.

#writebravely

#writtribrproblogger

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My Saraswati – Mrs. Aasha Bangera

It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 24 other bloggers are celebrating #9daysofwomanhood throughout Navratri. I thank Jasmeet Kaur for introducing me. Read her blog mommyvoyage.I have followed her throughout my pregnancy days and even now.

So I am not disclosing the prompt for today. Read my post and guess the prompt and leave in your comments below. 

I have always been an average student all my life. A person who needs preparation, revision and again final touch up for exams. Coming from a family where my mom and dad are educated in Gujarati medium so I could get very little help from my parents in terms of studies. But I had an expert to assist me – Mrs. Aasha Bangera. I am indebted to God to have met her. She is my inspiration, my motivation, saviour and my master. If it would have not been her, I would have not been what I am today. She is my Saraswati (Hindu goddess of knowledge, music, arts, wisdom, and learning)

Read more about Goddess Saraswati here.

I met Mrs. Aasha Bangera – Miss thats what I call her, in fact the entire society calls her that, when I was in my 9th grade. From that time till now, she has been my academic helper. Even now when neighbours come to me with doubts and I can’t solve it for them, she stands at help. Not only me, she has lent a helping hand to hundreds of students. She tries to help in all ways possible when its related to education.

Be it school or college admissions, exams or choosing a carrier, she has helped students with everything. She is the one who asked me to give my CET exams for B.Ed. There is no way I can thank her. Thank you is a small word.

Miss has helped many students without taking any charges or taking minimum charges. one amongst these was one of my best friend, she still can’t stop thanking miss for her gratefulness. Mrs. Bangera’s aim is to open a school and teach for free, but till she reaches there she at least wants to reach out to one such child whose education can be done free by her – now who does that, very less people have such big hearts in todays world.

Isn’t she a real Saraswati. At least for me, She is the goddess of knowledge.

At the end, I want to thank you Miss, although thank you just not enough for all that you have done for me till date and hundreds of other students like me. We love you.

You may also like to read Being a Woman of India today.

I would like to introduce you to my  friend & co-blogger Khyati Gulati Tewari. Read her post on the prompt for today here.

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My Pregnancy outfits

It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 24 other bloggers are celebrating #9daysofwomanhood throughout Navratri. I thank Jasmeet Kaur for introducing me. I loved her blog mommyvoyage on the prompt for today Being a Woman In India.

I think clothing is transformative. When you put something really beautiful on, you feel something. In so many ways, we’re always playing a form of dress-up – it’s just a grown-up, much chicer version of it. It’s nice to be able to be whoever you want to be.

 -Jason Wu

I have always been a girl who loves dressing up. Pregnancy was no different. My growing size justified my shopping and I kept shopping. Here, I share with you some of my maternity outfits that I wore and rocked my pregnancy.

I preferred cotton over any other material. I hated wearing jeans during pregnancy and wore legging or Palazzos instead. Dresses were my favourite as they were comfortable and stylish.

  1. Basic cotton Kurti (DIY by me)

2. Tunic and maternity leggings.

3. Maternity tee with a Palazzo. If you are shy to show your tummy you may wear a shrug over it.  See picture 5.

4. A DIY design by me. This dress worked for me from 5 months to 9th month and even post delivery. The dress has a satin thread which is adjustable and you may loosen or tighten as required.

5.Loved this dress which worked for quite long. The shrug is worn to hide my huge arms.

6. Track pants and Tees are the best when home. Loved the comfort these tees gave me.

7. I have worn this dress maximum times. It as nice pleated dress from Nine Maternity Wear.

8. Dungarees look quite stylish and they are comfortable too even post delivery for feeds.

9. A pure maternity outfit which gave me the ease of feeding post delivery too.

10. I rocked my baby moon in this comfortable white dress from Nine Maternity Wear.

You may also like to read on why you should go for a baby moon here.

11. I was in love with dungarees during pregnancy.

Other than this I wore shirts and tunics with belts. Writing this post made me realise I dont have pictures in them (Sad Face)

Where do you buy such outfits from?

I purchased from anywhere I liked, I made many myself looking up for designs online, let me tell you I also wore some handed down by my mom friends.

In particular look up for Nine Maternity Wear, Green Bell store in Juhu, Mumbai and do a lot of DIY.

P.S : I did not have any intentions of blogging when I was Pregnant and don’t have HDR pictures.

I would like to introduce you to my  friend & co-blogger Khyati Gulati Tewari. Read her post on the prompt for today here.

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